I Humbly Count My Blessings

Looking back now, I cannot remember when I was not alone in the physical care of my daughters (except for my mother’s help that I had from time to time!). In some way, God had prepared me ahead of time for what I now deal with. I have been encouraged over the years to find the method by which I can be financially, physically and emotionally independent and I am grateful that at some level, I complied! I still sometimes get overwhelmed with my daily routine of waking up, taking care of my daughters, dropping them in school, driving to work, working hard at fixing technical mishaps, driving back, picking up, homework, baths and bedtime. It is a lot of work and I have found myself silently praying recently for help from above. One thing is clear, I can be optimistic or be pessimistic and I choose to be optimistic – not optimistic about the fact that others may wake up and realize they are not doing what they are called to do but optimistic about my inner strength and what God will do in taking me in a new direction; completely away from all those things and people that have held me back for many years.

I have absolutely no doubt that God answers prayers. I also know for sure that he never leaves nor forsakes. I believe he always has the right and best solution to every dilemma so I wait with great expectancy for what he will do. In the meantime, I am reminded to count my blessings. I never fail on a daily basis to remind my children how much I love and care for them. It is a great privilege to be a parent and not a right. I am sure someone somewhere out there is praying desperately for what I have. I was reminded today by a good friend that a lot of people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars, they fast and they pray for the very children we sometimes foolishly take for granted.

I am grateful to God for all that I have – especially the two wonderful girls he has given to me to care for. Even though the task is challenging, I fully embrace it whole heartedly. With all I have going on, God has kept me strong so I am encouraged not to fret when evil doers and envious folks try to make my life more difficult than it already is for the bible says that as grass they will eventually wither; like green plants they will soon die away (Psalm 37:1-2). Even when they succeed in their wicked ways, I am encouraged to be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.

Today I count my blessings – I thank God from the deepest parts of my heart for all he has done. It is only through the supernatural power of God that one can sing praises from the toughest places of one’s life.

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself.
(Psalm 89:1-2)

Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
(Psalms 105:1-4)

Do You Need an Attitude Adjustment?

Have you ever done a self examination to your attitude? Do you always think that others around you are wrong and you are right? Do you go from employer to employer because you get annoyed and irritated by your boss and colleagues - 6 jobs in 2 years may actually mean more than you've led yourself to believe!

It's amazing how a small change in our attitude can change our altitude. Just like a little change on the thermostat can affect the entire temperature in your house so can a change in your attitude change your entire outlook on life. Evil will always try to find a mechanism to destroy all we have achieved from hard work via a poor attitude.

Take a minute to examine your attitude today - at work, at home and at play. You may be surprised at what you find.

Additional Reading:

Proverbs 17: 18-20; 22; 24; 27-28

Responsibility, Commitment and Contentment

The world today has developed an acceptance for the attitude of irresponsibility. Courts have solutions for parents who although do not mind being financial responsible for the children they have brought into the world want to be physically irresponsible for their care. Schools have solutions for parents that will not take the time to teach their children how to take responsibility for their actions – we put them in schools where they will always be moved to the next grade regardless of their performance. Then they get to the 9th grade and we suddenly discover that they are reading at 3rd grade level. The unfortunate thing is responsibility cannot be taught in isolation, most of it is actually caught. A child becomes responsible when they are trained to do so and when they have watched time after time how parents have sacrificed to do the right thing. Most people that are irresponsible will almost also be found to be non-committal in nature or committed to the wrong things.

Living with a lack of commitment simply means you don’t know where you are going and when you have no idea where you are headed; all roads will lead you there! Being committed to what is important is absolutely crucial. For example, when you simply provide financially for you children but make every excuse under the planet not to be there to help them, put them to sleep, talk or play with them, you best believe you will very lonely person when you are old and gray. When we are adults, we really do not care which parent spent the most money, we care the most about who was physically and emotionally there; who sacrificed the most to be there. This story is a true story – it’s my story. If you read this today and you do nothing else, be committed and be there for those that God has placed in your life.

When a person shows signs of being irresponsible or not committed its stands to reason that they will not be contented either. Because there is so much more to do; so much more to achieve and our flesh most often sends us to all the wrong places, it doesn’t matter what we attain, we are not satisfied. We believe that just around the corner is that big break, that new love, that new gig that will bring the joy we need, the mark that we must reach. We think contentment, happiness and fulfillment is just around the corner – around every new corner. Majority of our relentless pursuit is all in the name of contentment. The reality is that it can never be found by seeking or pursuing more. If you are not happy with what you have right now, you'll not find contentment even when you do get more. Contentment is a virtue that must be learned. Developing contentment is a process that we all must learn. Contentment does not mean complacency nor is it a secret club for quitters - it's the ability to practice peace and joy even while pressing on into the future. It’s the potential to simply bloom where you are planted. It's having a joy that circumstances cannot steal. It’s learning to base our decisions on the word of God not what our deadly flesh dictates. Let us not spend our lifetime chasing after things and missing the joys of what we have right now.

Contentment is not found in having more but in having enough right where we are.

The Death, Burial and Resurrection of Jesus Christ is a Total Package

Sometime ago, my daughter gave me a scrap book and she wanted me to fill in my answers to some tough questions. Obviously before I began, I was curious about some of the previous entries made by other people so I decided to take a look. There I saw an amazing response to a question about where you would most wish to visit – the writer had penned “heaven”. Interesting response I thought since I understood that the Death of Jesus Christ on the Cross and my acceptance of his work on the Cross and his Spirit into my life guaranteed me a ticket to heaven. I no longer believed that it was something that I needed to pray or wish for.

But after interacting with this writer for many years, I came to understand his philosophy – a philosophy shared by many "religious" people. The Death of Christ indeed saves us all from the punishment of sin which is death but his burial and his ultimate victorious resurrection is what gives us life. He has fully grasped the death concept but has stopped there. But believing in his death in isolation is not enough. We will all be saved but our life and choices may still be evident that we are missing something. Accepting his life gradually changes the dysfunctional philosophies we have that are ruining our lives. The eternal life that we get from his resurrection is what brings life to an otherwise dead soul. I don’t mean dead physically but spiritually. It’s what changes our mind about God and the things of God. It’s what allows us to make better choices and decisions. Until you come to grips with the power of the resurrection and welcome his life into you to give you spiritual life and freedom, you’re still dead.

I am tempted to believe that may be why I have been unfortunate to meet with some really hateful Christians. They are “Christians” alright but they lack the spirit of forgiveness which only comes from accepting the resurrection of Christ. When you meet real believers, they impact your life; they inspire you. I was around these hateful ones for decades and learnt all the colloquialisms and had the language and attitude down to a tee but was as dead spiritually as ten year old corpse! Unfortunately, there are a lot of dead people in the pews every Sunday. I have also been fortunate to meet a few people who have good lives – lives that are evidence of the power of Christ’s resurrection; Christians that really have a heart.

Believing in the miracle of the Death, Burial and Resurrection of Jesus Christ not only brings you life, it strengthens your heart and sets you free. It’s a total package! Now you know fully understand that you are saved by grace and grace alone – this knowledge motivates you to do what God would want you to do. I know for a fact that it is not possible to have the power of resurrected life and continue to sin whereas if you believe in the death and have not grasped the life, you may still be living comfortably in perpetual sin. You will go to heaven but what quality of life would you have here on earth? After all, God instructed us to cause the kingdom of God to come here on earth so that people can see us and want what we have. If you are saved and your life is not attractive to others, you may want to rethink your definition of salvation.

Let’s be clear – Jesus plus nothing equals salvation. Adding tongues, baptism, confession and all those other things do not make anyone saved. We are saved by grace and grace alone. None of these other rituals we perform will make us saved. But salvation is a total package – believing in the Death, Burial and Resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Even Playing Field

Sometimes I envy those who were raised as Christians and have had the luxury of following the word of God from the time they were children. I was raised in a home that practiced a couple of religions - It depended on which day of the week you asked. But as I became an adult I noticed that most of the people that I knew who were lucky to have this experience had a certain level of arrogance about them. Most have no tolerance for others and could be extremely judgmental and impatient with others that are going through struggles they could not comprehend or understand. In their arrogance, they believed that tough trials could never come their way - they were spiritual enough to pray all types of tribulations away. It was amazing to learn that Jesus Christ made friends with the most unusual people. He was not judgmental of anybody - he could have chosen to be around only the super-spiritual folks but he reached out and touched hurting people.

Now I know that we are all born in sin and our self righteousness are like filthy rags to God. We have no real righteousness of our own to boast about. True salvation only comes from God through Jesus Christ. We do not come to God because of the "good works" that we do or the way we are nice in public - that may clear out consciences but it does not make us a believer. All of us can approach the throne of grace based only on the work Jesus Christ did at the cross. Whatever you do, never look down on people who have struggles in their lives. You have struggles too although yours might not visible to the outside world, but we all have things that we struggle with. Show compassion to those who hurt. Your life may be better than their’s today but who knows tomorrow. Don't judge others who seem to be having a bad time; you may be secretly struggling with something worse no one knows about!

We are all descendants of Adam's sinful heritage. Truthfully no-one needs a greater volume of the blood of Jesus Christ more than another. There's no such thing like - "I only need a drop but you need a gallon!” Jesus died once and for us all.

Walk the Talk

So many of us are good at talking the Jesus talk but don't really walk the Jesus walk. The faith we proclaim is quickly proven to lack depth and substance in tough circumstances. When difficult times arise, it becomes painfully obvious that we have no real root - we do well for a short time and then we are swiftly blown away like chaff in the wind. The faith we tend to display when things don't go the way we had planned is the "Here Today; Gone Tomorrow" kind of faith.


The real test is passed when we can maintain our joy even when things look bad. When the world tells us NO and something deep inside tells us God is saying YES. The trials come and simply prove the stuff that we are made of. We refuse to be defeated in a battle that Jesus Christ has already won. When there is no rain and the dry season comes, we proclaim the power of God by drawing water from deep down inside of us. We are not easily moved by stuff and we are anxious for nothing. Our worst days turn out to be our best days. We know that his strength is made perfect in our weakness. We become like the seeds that fell on good ground and through perseverance produces good crop. We refused to be choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures. We believe the Word of God even in trying times and we are determined that the enemy will not take away God's word from our hearts.

It's wonderful to be able to talk to talk but it's phenomenal when you can walk the walk as well. People will want what you have. Your actions will show what you believe and do the talking for you. Walking the talk can only happen when you are on good and solid ground.

Are you walking what you are talking? Do people look at you and wonder what keeps you going?

Encourage One Another

Life definitely has the potential of dealing us some very heavy blows - of making us sometimes question the reason for our existence. One reason is clear to me today - we are here to encourage and uplift one another at all times. We are here to lift our brother when he's down. Showing up at the finishing line on your own in the spiritual realm has little value. We are called to be fishers of men. Forgive me if your life at the moment couldn't be perfect. If your health is at its best and your family has no trials or issues - today's thoughts may not be for you. If you are on the mountain and cannot identify with those of us in the valley of life, you are exempted from today's thoughts. I am talking to those who have an issue or issues on the altar and have been praying one way or another for some relief; those who are holding on to life by their fingernails. For those of you with no problems and with a picture perfect life, serve as an encourager to others because you are definitely in the minority!

I am a firm believer that the more treasures you have inside of you, the more challenging your life would be. If there is something in you that the world needs, the enemy would do all he can to make sure that the treasures never come to light. Let's face it - a mentor cannot take you on a journey that he has never been through. You'd be like two blind people trying to find a bathroom; someone will definitely have an accident! The trials of life can destroy you, incapacitate you and make you give up what you have to someone less than you or it can empower you, make you stronger and make your worst days turn out to be your best. The choice is yours. Even in the midst of the toughest trials, we must keep on going. Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things we cannot see. Your faith needs to kick in when rough times come. Know and believe in your heart that help is on the way.

While we wait for our help to arrive from above (and I am positive and without a shadow of a doubt that it will), I encourage you today; I ask you to hold on and never give up. Reach down inside; right down to the deepest part of you and draw the strength you need. Ask God to make you an encourager to someone else. The more people you encourage, the more God will encourage and bless you. The hard reality is all the issues may never go away - if life does not end, I doubt that they ever will. But we will have a joy that surpasses all understanding. A joy despite our circumstances that ordinary folks will not understand; a joy that keeps us going in the midst of it all.

Be Proud To Be You

It’s sometimes hard to be truly accepted by others especially if your personality is somewhat strong. Deep down we all believe others should be like us and see things the way that we do. When they don’t, we think there’s something wrong with them. Some will succumb to the pressure and change their personality to suit what someone else expects of them. For those that refuse to fall victim, they often find themselves alone. If only we can learn that the truth that it’s the differences in us that makes each of us unique.

If only we could appreciate the wonderful creation of God in the variety of personalities that we all display and thank him for it. I have two daughters who look very much alike but have personalities as different as day and night. It’s really very fascinating to watch them and note how they differ. But as different as they are, I love them just the same. I don’t prefer one personality over another; they are just different. Each uniquely packaged by God to fulfill a specific destiny. I can’t wait for them to be older and see all that they accomplish – just the way that God designed.

We are all created specially, specifically and uniquely by God. We are all anointed to be who he created us to be. I always say that unless you have the ability to create people in your “workshop”, you have no right to tell me who I ought to be! God is the only creator I know. He gives each of us unique gifts, talents and abilities. He knows us all – one by one – before we were ever formed in our mother’s wombs.

Don’t ever think that you need to change who you are to be accepted by others. By all means if you have character flaws that are contrary to what God requires of you, work on those things in agreement with God. But never try to conform to others expectations or requirements of you. Only what God says about you matters – nothing else really matters.

The more time you spend with God, the more your relationship with him deepens. You will learn what you need to change and that change will come – with time. You will also develop the strength to reject the pressure to fit in based on what someone else wants. If you are struggling today about the expectation of others and you are trying so desperately to fit into a spot that probably wasn’t designed for you; this message is for you. I know how it feels; I’ve been there. The horrible truth is even if you are successful at fooling yourself; it’s only for a short time. The real you will be crying to burst forth and you will have no choice to succumb to being yourself because it is cheaper!

It’s time to understand that God wants you to be free – trying to be whom and what you are not is living in bondage. God wants you to be free to be who he made you to be.

Standing Firm – Even in the midst of trouble.

Life is full of troubles and trials. If it’s not one thing then it’s another. Some comes in the form of situations. You may be walking with God today and doing all you are called to do. You are content and things couldn’t be better but all of a sudden, an unexpected situation comes up and everything you have been working for seems to be varnishing before your very eyes. You are a hard-worker, on time everyday and never taken a sick day. Then the company decides to down-size and your precious job is on the line. You have been faithful yet everything that could go wrong is going horribly wrong. People can also bring troubles into your life by what they consciously or unconsciously do.

One thing is certain, challenges and issues will come our way in one form or another but we must choose to stand firm believing and trusting by faith that God is always behind us clearing up our past messes; walking alongside us holding us upright so we can face the world in the midst of our troubles and going ahead of us to make all the crooked places straight. We must know that we know that God is always working behind the scenes on our behalf – even when we can't hear his voice, we must trust his plan for our lives. He didn’t bring us this far to leave us now. God is always working things together for your good – that is if you believe.

When we stand firm and refuse to succumb or faint when these “distractions” come our way, God is motivated to move on our behalf. When we hold on to God and all the wonderful promises he’s given us in his word, we are greatly rewarded and all trials and tribulations will pass, leaving us better than we ever were before.

How do we stand firm? We stand firm by trusting God and developing our faith. The Bible states that faith comes by hearing the word of God – faith grows and develops as life throws circumstances at us. It is vital that we continually build our faith. The more we hear the word of God; the more we learn to be like him. His word takes root in our hearts and our faith blossoms. Spend time listening to the word of God. Declare his promises over your life and situation. Stand firm and strong - put your faith to good use by using the word of God.

Additional Reading

1Peter 5:8-14
Jeremiah 29:11

Are You Free To Be You?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

If you never take the time to discover who you are, people will be quick to tell you what they think you ought to be. We are all gifted, talented and called for a purpose in this life but we must be willing to do the work to accomplish all that God has for us. People may talk negatively about you and try to put you down but it’s not what people call you that matters, it’s what you answer to. Based on my experience, I have found out that when people are continuously negatively critical of you and your personality, it’s mainly because they see something in you they wished they had. They see something that even you are yet to discover.

When you know and are confident that you were created in the image of the Almighty God and to his glory, you confidence cannot help but shine through. Some may interpret this to be arrogance but you weren’t called to spend your life explaining your “why” to others. I spent many years of my life trying to fit in a spot that really wasn’t meant for me. I felt like a round peg trying to fit in a square hole – a square hole that need a round peg but didn’t really want one. I was uncomfortable. I felt unwanted.

It is important that you find your own spot in this world – the spot created for you. If you are busy in the wrong spot, you could be inviting a lot of pain and suffering. When you eventually find your spot, you feel like you’re finally home. All the stress and turmoil disappears and deep down you know you are right where you were made to be. The right spot does not require you to be different from whom God created you to be. Your personality, your gender, your demeanor and your countenance is just right for your spot.

Finally I live in the freedom that I do not need to be soft-spoken to be accepted by you. I don’t need to pretend as if our brains are somewhat fused and I don’t have a single original thought of my own. I no longer need to pretend to be what I am not. Like it or not I am me – love me as I am in its entirety or get nothing at all. I don’t need to fit into your carefully constructed little box anymore. I am free to finally be me. What a liberating feeling it is!

Are the strongholds in your life killing you?

I know we can all better live with ourselves if we train ourselves to believe that our problems and issues in life are somebody else’s fault. We live in a world where the blame game is the norm. But regardless of how and in what environment we were raised in, we can make a decision to break the dysfunctional patterns we have come to know as a normal way of life.

I’ll give you an example – a man decides to seek employment abroad in all sorts of countries for extended periods of time. But he has an 11 year old and a 4 year old at home, isn’t that insane? He has consistently maintained this lifestyle for over a decade. But it’s normal to him simply because his father never was home. His mother pretty much handled the entire household on her own; working her fingers to the bone trying to serve the function of providing for the family while the man wandered around doing God knows what! But all in all he manages to survive the ordeal but not without screwed up mindsets. But the root of his thinking is so far deep that it will take more than a shovel to remove all the dysfunctional mindsets. It doesn’t matter what others say, reconciling truth with fiction is just out of reach. When others do not agree with him, he labels them as unsupportive when what is really wrong with him is not everyone around him but in his head.

We can allow our past to fully dictate our future. We can put on our best clothes and dance to the tune of the past for the rest of our lives. With our consent our past can delicately shaped how we see our present where new is always better. In reality our perspectives can rest entirely on where we are based on where we’ve been – if we choose ignorance and refuse to mature by educating ourselves. When we grow and know that it’s not all about us, the way we feel and how we want to be “happy”, we will realize that what we are grappling with is really not about us.

I understand that there are generational curses but there are also generational choices. We must all make a choice in our generation to break whatever circle of dysfunction that has been passed down. Basically, we must make a decision that says “The Buck Stops with Me – No More Drama”; making generational choices means choosing to break all the strongholds of the past. A stronghold can be a messed up way of reasoning or not thinking at all! Too many of us have our past controlling the future. We are giving the past that is long gone incredible power that it doesn’t deserve over our lives. Unconsciously we continue to create a life that we have but don’t like. Our emotions, sense of stability and essentially our lives keep swinging from one end to another like an out of control pendulum. Breaking patterns of destruction has a price; a price very few are willing to pay.

Anything that will result in lasting change will almost always require a change of heart. Getting the heart right is the beginning of deliverance but the flesh often gets in the way of that. It’s hard to do something out of obligation if the heart isn’t there. I once read that whatever your spirit orders, your soul must definitely pay for. That scared me. It motivated me to get rid of junk in my life – which included people (unfortunately). Anytime you are around anyone or anything that gives you discomfort in your spirit it’s time to make different choices as to where you really need to be.

Dealing with strongholds is neither your job nor mine. I’ve seen many women run themselves raggedy trying to deal with strongholds in their men – fighting a battle they can never win. If the man cannot see that he has strongholds, you are wasting your time. You can either live with the strongholds or get out! The first and most difficult step for all of us is accepting that we do have strongholds and that the issue is not with everybody else. Once we acknowledge them, we must give them to God. Only God has the right equipment to dig out strongholds because the roots run really deep.

Live Through It!

Whatever you are going through, live through it. Life will throw you unexpected curves that will make you want to give up but keep on riding. When this is all over, you will come back stronger than ever. Your set backs in life is simply a set up for a spring back. You often gain the most from adversities than from the positive things that happen in your life. When tough times come, they may be rough but you come out better than ever before. Whatever does not kill you will make stronger.

God is surely with you, you will never go under. As long as he is on your boat, you can never sink. Make a commitment to survive every lie, every hardship and every misfortune. Don't make excuses to stay right where you are - an excuse is simply a reason stuffed with a lie. Don't be afraid of your present circumstances or your future, Jesus Christ said "Fear Not". If you are being falsely accused, he promised to close the mouth of the lion. Our God is in the fire with us and He is able to deliver us.

Don't focus on the issues, problems and the demons you are fighting, focus on God. let go of all your past mistakes and failures. Let go of past hurts, disappointments and sin. Until you let go, you'll never be able to conceive the beautiful future God has in store for you. The trick of the enemy is to have us reliving the past and dwelling on it - don't bring the past into your future. Whatever is in your past, you have been forgiven. I am forgiven and you are forgiven. Jesus has already paid the price to deliver you - receive this gift with gladness. The trouble in your past does not dictate who you are; it's simply part of your remarkable story. Nobody is perfect but God. God can use all of us even with our imperfections. Get through whatever you may be dealing with, having the assurance that even when you blow it, God loves you anyway. Nothing you do or don't do can ever change that.

Live Through It. Never Give Up. Live Your Life as God Intended.

Caution! Extra Grace Needed; Re-sizing Expectations

I once saw a beautiful lady wearing a t-shirt that clearly said “Extra Grace Required”. It took a while for it all to sink in. What she was really trying to do was wear a warning label. Even though I wouldn’t go to such extreme measures myself, I admired her courage. At least you can’t say she didn’t warn you before hand. I think everyone needs to wear a warning label of some type as some people really need an extra amount of grace. That is why one must never choose a spouse by the way that they look. You could put yourself in a world of hurt.

As humans do not come with warning labels or disclaimers, one must be prepared to show an ample amount of extra grace where some folks are concerned. With the “extra grace is needed” folks, expectations will have to be greatly down-sized. Let’s face it, if you want a car that goes from zero to sixty in 6.9 seconds, you wouldn’t pick a Honda Civic. Similarly, you will find that with humans you have to tailor your expectations to meet what they can deliver. People can never give you what they don’t have. It’s like a woman who likes to run the streets and you’re doing all you can to make her a committed mother and housewife. I hate to burst your bubble; you’re wasting your time!

The problem we sometimes have as a people is that we think we can change people and thereby elevate our expectations. But strongholds are difficult to change – quite honestly only God can deal with strongholds. Not only is it not our battle but we aren’t equipped to deal with them! I am learning to stop trying to “fix” people or make them “see”. Only God can do that supernaturally. I can however very easily reduce my expectations of them to minimal levels – sometimes to nothing at all if that’s what it takes.

When we place expectations on others that they can never meet, it creates un-necessary strife. “Extra grace needed” folks can be invincible roadblocks that seem to bring stress and they can be extremely irritating. They are like a thorn in the flesh but God encourages us not only to avoid strife but not hold on to it. Strife is like a disease that steals your peace and your joy (if you allow it) so you must make a conscious decision to nip it in the bud. If it requires that you stop a conversation or association, by all means do it. The abundant life that God promises you is worth a lot more.

A friend told me that there’s a famous Chinese saying that divides people into 3 categories:

A) Those that get it.
B) Those that take a while but get it eventually.
C) And those that will never get it.

If you are dealing with anyone in category A or B, you are in good stead. If you have an issue with someone who belongs to category C, do not waste your energy or your breath; just move on. If they seek God, their life may change. However if they fail to realize they have an issue and are willing to ask God for help, change may never come.

Stronger Through Adversity

No one likes trouble. We all pray for difficult times to go anywhere but come our way. No-one wants to be sick, lose a child, a job or a relationship. Adversity is one guy who has no friends. But just like you exercise to build your muscles, how do you build strength into your spirit? We’ve all heard the famous saying ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” but do we believe it?

I have learnt from my experiences that strength of a spirit requires both the word of God and adversity. During times of challenges and difficulties, we grow stronger. We lose any self-pride or attitude of self reliance; we are totally dependent on God and his word during times like this. I have been through some stuff that I know for sure that if God didn’t bring me out, I never would have come out.

With challenges, our ability to persevere is increased and we are able to gain strength. We become more in tune with our lives and try to find purpose in our suffering. Due to my suffering, my vision was enlarged and I started to inquire vigorously for the purpose of my life. I believed more than ever that all I have suffered needed to count for something. If it helped someone understand that we are all on the potter’s wheel and that all we are going through is not going to harm us in anyway but bring us to an expected end, it would have all been worthwhile.

I learnt that finding purpose in suffering is inevitable if you are willing to enlarge your vision. Through the mercy of God, I was able to find purpose in the turmoil and sadness of my life. I found his un-imaginable peace in the midst of it all. To find the strength I needed, the word taught me that my pain is not my entire story but a tiny part of my life’s journey. I accepted my suffering and adversity but trusted God to bring me out of it – in his time.

If you are suffering today, believe that God will turn your suffering around for good if you remain faithful even in difficult times. Don’t let the problems of life put you in a position where you are angry at God, doubt his existence and question your faith. Make up your mind to serve God with all your heart even when challenges come and he will strengthen you and see you through. None of our experiences in life is wasted. God will use it all to his glory.

Your Life is Worth a Plan

For many years I lived, worked and survived but didn’t really have a plan. I lived from day to day doing regular everyday stuff paying very little attention to the future. I always believed the future would pretty much take care of itself until I heard a man say that a life without a plan is pretty much a wasted one. That statement got my attention.

As life would have it, certain circumstances arose that gave me the opportunity to begin asking myself who I was and what I was created to do. I looked within to find out what brought me the greatest joy and minimal effort and I found that one thing. From that one thing came many dreams – some of them overwhelming. It all felt great until I discovered that a dream without a plan is simply wishful thinking. That took me to the next level – planning. How do I plan for my dreams? How do I make sure that they all come through? How do I share my dreams with my children such that my dreams become contagious and a generational way of dreaming can commence?

I figured out very quickly that I needed to formulate and document a plan that was in line with God’s purposes. When you wake up each morning knowing clearly what the ultimate goal is, that knowledge puts a spring in your step. Where you are headed and what you want to accomplish in your lifetime is clear. I was on a roll – I tried to write down as much as I could and read biographies of folks whose goals were similar to mine but I was not prepared for what came next – noise and distractions. By this I mean drama and soap opera related issues that mean nothing but are aimed to steer me off course.

I had to learn the beautiful secret of crying for a minute and moving straight on – meaning I give the drama the 5 minutes of fame that it deserves and move on; fixing my eyes straight on the prize. I learnt how to preserve my strength for those things that will help propel me towards my God-given destiny.

Any life is worth a plan. We cannot rewind the past but we can re-plan the future. There is more to our life than what we can physically see today. I wish someone had taught me some of the secrets to an abundant life that I had to find out now at an early age. Life is precious and it’s never too early to teach our children to start planning for the future. Teach your children; show them how to start planning their life –every life is precious to God and deserves a plan.

What Makes a Winner?

No-one is born a winner. Regardless of what kind of family you come from – broken, intact, rich and privileged, poor and wretched; it doesn’t matter. God and life is no respecter of persons. The circumstances of life would sometimes bring a grown tough man to his knees. One thing is certain though, anyone can be a winner. There is a difference between what the kingdom of heaven calls a winner and what we call a winner in the physical realm. Winning by God’s standards is not about your six-figure salary or your million-dollar home. No – far from it. Winning is how you respond and overcome despite the circumstances that life throws at you.

A winner in the true sense of the word partners with God, walks with God, speaks with God and does as God directs. A winner does nothing, can be nothing and will be nothing without God and acknowledges this truth as a fact. To win, you need the favor of God. You get the favor of God by following his directions – there is no other way! Feelings and emotions can hinder following God’s directions via his word and as humans our feelings are our greatest downfall. They send us down roads we have no business on and sometimes lead us so far from the truth that finding our way back can be difficult or even impossible. To really win, we cannot afford to be slaves to the way we feel. Feelings are good but they should never be confused with the prompting of the Holy Spirit. How do we tell the difference between the two? Feelings and emotions are often contrary to what we know the word of God to be; the Holy Spirit is always in line with God’s word.

Winners have a unique character. Character is different from morality – it’s much deeper than that. This kind of character is not based on simply being “nice” but constructed from the circumstances of life and our response – in likeness to God’s response. Great character does not change at the command of situations. It is stable and as solid as a rock, dependable and unflinching – even if the face of adversity. The main basis of a winner’s character is simply obedience and compliance to the authority of God. Obedience to the commands and instructions of God. Winners are never motivated by pride. They are never self-centered, thinking only about themselves and how they feel but seek to take into consideration others.

To win, we must be willing to the extra mile – for our family, our children and everyone God has surrounded us with and placed in our lives. Even when things are tough (and they sometimes will be) or we are knocked down, we keep walking – walking with God and following his commands. Choosing not to follow and go our way or do our own thing is never an option. Winners do get tempted like everyone else but they choose to say No to temptation rather than sin against God. A real winner understands God’s greater plan for his or her life and focuses on the bigger picture – refusing to sweat the small stuff. They make a conscious decision to shed all emotional baggage that may interfere with the calling of God upon their lives. They elect to forgive themselves and others who have wronged them, leaving all battles to God. They know vengeance is not theirs but belongs to the Lord.

For those of us that are privileged to be parents, if we teach them nothing else, we must teach them willing obedience to those in authority. They have to learn to obey you that they can see. Winners are assured and confident in God’s ability to supply all their needs, including companionship. They understand that God’s provisions are more than sufficient. I want to be a winner; I am learning to win. What about you?

No-one Else Would Ever Go That Far

“You see, at jut the right time, when we were powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a righteous man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him.” – Romans 5:6-9

Even though some believers rest better at night with the notion that Christ died for the elect, the bible states clearly in a few places that he died for the sins of all. Having said that, not all have been able to accept and enjoy this privilege. The knowledge that even while I was all up in the muck and mire of my sin, someone thought me worthy enough to die for me makes me want to be better. My unrighteousness makes the righteousness of God clearer. The sacrifice of his beloved Son so that I might gain eternal life makes me want to prove that what was done for me was worth the effort. Not that I really need to prove myself to the God of the Universe, but the desire still exists.

It doesn’t really matter if you attend church 7 days a week or are the director of the chicken frying committee, no one is righteous not one. No-one will ever be declared righteous in the sight of God by observing the law. Rather through the law we are aware of how much of a sinner we really are. We are all sinners and while we were sinners, God sent Jesus Christ to save us. Only Jesus could forever take away the sins of the world – once and for all. No-one or nothing else would do. Only a true God would go that far and give up his only Son for a sinful people.

In the world we live in today, nobody is willing to lay their lives down for another. Truth be told, only very few are willing to stretch out a helping hand. I’ve heard people say things like “I’ll die for my wife or for my child”; All I can say is that I pray that their assertions never get tested! We live in a cruel and selfish world where everyone kind of look out for themselves and themselves alone. Even within the same family, a child is suffering and people don’t care simply because the suffering child is not theirs but only happens to be from another member of the family. As a parent, I can’t understand how you will not care for any child – yours or not. Caring about another and the well-being of your neighbor is rare these days only a few practice the act of lending a hand.

For believers who understand the world and how it functions, it is imperative that you keep Christ first in your life and everything you do because when push comes to shove, He is all you have! The majority may hang around initially when things are not too good but at the same time not all that bad. When things get really deplorable, folks varnish fast. They cannot afford to be seen with you anymore. Only the Christ who died for you will really stand up for you when things get difficult. The love of God cannot be compared to any love we feel or experience in this realm. It’s like a wind, you can’t see it but you can surely feel its effects – once you have it, it never really leaves you.

So God went all the way for your life and you are grateful. That’s all well and good but what are doing with this wonderful gift? Are you all about self? Are you living a selfish life where you are prepared to give up nothing of real worth for another? Are you using the opportunities you have to teach those around you about the gift of salvation – your children and your friends? Have you abandoned your heavenly responsibilities to monkey around – confident that you’re headed to heaven but not really helping anyone else make the right decisions to get them there?

Give your priorities an overhaul today. Re-align what comes first. When you rightly place things in the correct order, your life will sure change.

All You Really Truly Own

Many of us want to be improved and better equipped to handle life but very few are willing to pay price. Almost everyone wants something for nothing. It is possible to get a lot of things by doing nothing but do not be foolish and expect anything of value to come your way in this manner.

If there was to be some natural disaster today, all the houses, cars, banks, stores and earthly possessions could all be wiped out in an instant. The only thing we’ll be left with is the love of God in our hearts and his wisdom in our minds. I often see people who stumble upon progression based on some college degree and get a great job. They do well for a while and live a semi-affluent life. Something horrible happens like a lay-off or a relationship disintegrates, they stumble, fall and never rise again. Even though the wisdom of man is abundant, only the wisdom of God can rescue one in such a time. I have found myself in some stuff that only the wisdom of God brought me out – I take credit for nothing.

The wisdom one has comes into plain view on how you rise when you fall not how many times you fall. And in life, you will fall. There are varying degrees but no-one is exempt. How do we grow in faith if we never falter? How are we made perfect, established, strengthened and settled if we do not suffer falls? All this being said, I think it’s about time we pay attention to the things that we spend our time reading. Reading fiction, internet celebrity stories and what-not will serve little purpose when trials and tribulations arise. Reading Mills and Boons will show you no way out when you are abandoned to die by your spouse and his family. Start filling your head with information that brings a return on your investment of time. Let’s face it if I am going to spend an hour reading anything, it had better give me information twice as valuable and reusable. Time is money and in very short supply!

If you are young, kudos to you! You may have some extra time to monkey around but if you are getting on in years like some of us are, the luxury is just one that can’t be afforded. So what do you read to increase your knowledge bank account with valuable information? The Bible. The Bible is the greatest book ever written. Every other good religious or applicable philosophy based book to any believer is based on the bible. Look into the book of Proverbs and the back-bone of your favorite book is hidden there somewhere. If you study the bible with vigor, it should keep you busy for a while.

For some of us that are blessed to have children, this information is as valuable as life itself. If we know nothing (not book stuff, I’m talking life wisdom!) and we are raising children who will also know nothing, it is inevitable that there children may also grow up knowing nothing. We cannot hope that the teachers in school will teach them. Most of the things they learn from life are caught watching us mess around. We cannot have faith for what we do not know so we need to educate ourselves. Passing on to a child knowledge that we don’t have is just wishful thinking. Wise up and stop wandering around. It will be a travesty for your kids to also grow up as wanderers – groping in the dark.

Multiple Good Opportunities

Being a driven individual as well as a person with a type ‘A’ personality can be exhausting. Choosing between a good idea and a bad one is easy but how do you choose between two good opportunities. I was reading a chapter from one of my favorite authors on the planet and he was addressing this issue. Choosing an option can be hard when both options are good. You feel as if picking one over the other means you loose out on something. You wear yourself out thinking that the one that you choose will end up being a disappointment and you’ll forever wonder what your life will be like if you picked the other – that is what you might miss out on.

I am at a cross road I’ve been a few times before and all my options are pretty strong but to pick one, I must let the others go. I need to begin to learn that I cannot be everything to everyone. I cannot do it all by myself. Due to my “can-do” attitude, I have been let down many a time by irresponsible people who believe that I can be lumbered with everything and shoulder it all because of my attitude of commitment. Because I am capable, I am forced to take on more than my fair share of responsibilities and commitments. Being flaky sure seems to have its advantages sometimes – at least no-one expects anything from you! The problem with taking on too much is that you get to a point when you know clearly that the weight you are carrying is too much for one person to shoulder alone.

By reading from this author, I have been able to find a way forward from my current dilemma – to simply select the options that are most conducive to my goals in life. I must begin to close some doors – for good! It means I need to release some of those responsibilities that I am carrying that is not for me to handle alone. If an option or options will not assist me in getting closer to my goals, it doesn’t matter how good it looks, I need to politely say “no thank you”. The danger of traveling a road that looks good but takes me nowhere near my dreams is that I am content and living but my dreams never really get fulfilled. And that is a price I am not willing to pay.

The key questions I need to answer are:

1) Who am I?
2) What am I about?
3) What truly defines me?

Once these 3 questions are clearly articulated, having too many potential options will be eradicated. The best choice(s) out of the multiple choices will step foward into plain view.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ Saved Me

I sometimes cannot help but wonder how different my life would have been if I had taken hold of the gift of salvation made available to me through the death of Jesus Christ earlier on in life. It’s a natural thing to ponder especially if you are a thinker like me. I am not saying becoming a Christian in the way most say – I know a lot of Christians who seem not to have really taken hold of the gift of salvation and I always say that the fact that you stand in a garage does not make you a Cadillac.

I have no doubt that we’ve all go through things in life for a purpose but I can’t help but believe that some hardships and suffering that we often deal with have more to do with rebellion than purpose. But God being the merciful Father that he is turns it all around for good when we surrender our lives and ask for his help. When we eventually realize that our way is not working and we turn to him, he miraculously makes all the mishaps in our lives “work out” for good.

I can confess that the Gospel of Jesus Christ changed my life. Sure I was breathing and living but I was truly headed nowhere fast. God used various circumstances to turn my attention and focus back to him where it belonged. If not for God, I have no idea where I will be. Not that my life is without its daily challenges but I can see the hand of God in every aspect of my life. I am learning to follow his direction while taking one day at a time. I am adamant about not doing things my own way or going off on a wrong tangent. There comes a time in your life when you just get completely fed up with the instability and insecurity. I have found out that once I turned my life over to him, I’ve had less anxiety and panic. I am worried and anxious for nothing. Even though people and things around me might be going crazy, I am able to finally keep my peace, focus on God standing firmly on the wisdom that I have received.

Life will never really be a picnic. If it’s not one thing then it’s another. As soon as you settle down and get life in cruise control, here comes another pothole. But in the center of it all, the Gospel of Jesus Christ makes all the difference. Living life any other way is just not living at all.

John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal lie.”

Disobedience

I first accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in 1989. Accepting was an easy decision to make; obedience in the ways of the Lord was another. I lived “one leg in one leg out” for many years and boy did I receive the rewards of that lifestyle. It is true that once you receive Christ and are saved, nothing you do can make you lose your salvation. But you do need to “work out” your salvation. The fact that you are saved means that you will end up in heaven but if you do not walk in obedience, you life can be hell on earth. The key to obedience is God and spiritual maturity.

It’s ironic how we have no problems obeying the laws of the land created by man but have no interest in obeying God’s law. Personally I think it’s because we are rebellious beings by nature and the threat of being incarcerated when we break man’s law stops us from falling short in that aspect but because there is no “jail” in the sense of the word when we disobey God, we do what we like. But if we really have a spirit of discernment, we will know that man’s prison is way better than the result of a rebellious life. We are no longer under the law and we are saved by grace and grace alone but living a successful Christian life requires a careful balance of faith and works.

When we truly love God, we have no problem doing his will. Even when we make a mistake fall short, (which we sometimes will) the Holy Spirit that dwells in us lets us know and we are quick to make necessary amends to get us back on the right track. When you are really walking with God, you can never be blatantly disobedient and make no attempts to take responsibility and change your ways. When you find folks who call themselves Christians that are openly disobedient, the light of God in them is questionable. The reason that I say this is that the Holy Spirit is like a navigation system. You cannot get lost for too long, it will keep speaking and re-directing your steps. You may choose to turn it off and continue in the path to destruction but that’s a choice you make because the spirit has since departed from you.

Jeremiah 17:5-6 says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.”

When you openly disobey God’s law, you place a curse on your life. You will be living but you will have no life. I remember in Luke 5 when Jesus told Simon to go out into deep waters and let the nets down for a catch. He was an experienced fisherman. Simon’s flesh commented that he had worked all night and caught nothing. But obedience made him agree that even though he was experienced and he knew what he was doing, nevertheless because Jesus said so, he will let down the nets. We all know what happened after that. Sometimes we think we know it all and we openly disobey God and follow our own instincts and what our flesh desires. We kill our anointing just because we are set in our own ways and refuse to change.

You can never disobey your way into the promises of God. You can’t do wrong to make things right – never. It’s time to start doing God’s thing instead of doing your thing! If you are struggling with obedience, the good news is that you care – some folks are beyond conviction. Remember God loves you and he will help you if your heart is willing and in the right place.

The Tragic Spirit of Denial

The backbone of any good leader is the ability to assume responsibility. The ability to take ownership is a requirement for leadership. We live in a world now where passing the buck is the order of the day. No-one wants to be blamed for anything so we take the easy way out. We start to point fingers at others. I have seen managers in the work place who are quick to blame subordinates for issues that arise in their teams and vice-versa. The biggest sign of denial in a person is the spirit of blame. Another strong indicator is murmuring and complaining.

The sad new is you can never change anything you don’t take responsibility for or confront. A new beginning must start with accepting your mistakes and/or issues, taking ownership and apologizing to those you have afflicted. We mothers have a huge role to play in this tragedy of denial that’s common place today. We unconsciously raise children that do not accept responsibility for anything. We let their sons get away with everything and anything unconsciously raising sons who will later grow up and become nightmares to women.

Refusing to confront your issues simply means you are lying to yourself. If your denial enslaves you in isolation, I guess it’s not too bad but when it brings innocent people into the mix, there’s a serious price to be paid. For example, when a woman picks a man by the package, a man who has spent his entire life in denial, it won’t be long before he blames her for all his troubles. Suddenly the fact that she doesn’t fry fish likes his mother becomes the sole reason he got fired from his job.

Being in church every time the doors open until they shut them at night does not exempt one from the spirit of denial. Some even have the guts to get angry at God when he does not respond the way they want whilst they are going their own way. Te truth is you can’t get to the right destination going the wrong way; you can’t do wrong to make things right. How can you have a good marriage taking someone else’s husband? The man could not be faithful or stay where God put him, all of a sudden by some miracle, he’s going to be faithful to you? But when this sprit of denial is in operation, everything seem appropriate. As they say "In a demented mind, nothing is wrong".

The reality is not accepting responsibility for your actions keeps you in a worse state than you were before. It can only get worse from here on. These spirits of denial and blame is one of the reasons why you see us interview well but work horribly. Our gifts get us a job but our character cannot keep us in the job. And if we don’t learn quickly and take biblical steps to perfect our character, our gifts take us places our character could never keep us. That’s why church does not work for us when we are living our lives in denial because while the preacher is preaching, we are wishing so and so was here to hear what was being said not for one minute considering that God might be talking to us.

Examine yourself today – are you blaming others for your demise? Can you honestly take full responsibility for where you are at? Do you have a distorted view of your life and what’s important? Are you living your life strung out and completely in denial?

Thanksgiving To My Almighty God

O Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!
I will always praise you, O Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders, rejoice and be glad in you.
You are my Lord and apart from you I have nothing good.
You have assigned me my portion and my cup;
You have made my life secure.
I will praise the God who counsels me;
Even at night, your voice within my heart instructs me.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
My body will always rest secure in the safety of your wings.
You have shown me the true path to life.
You have filled my heart with joy in your presence.
I love you Lord with all my strength.
You are my rock in whom I take refuge, my fortress and my deliverer.
You are my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
You are the only God worthy of my praise.
Because of you I am forever saved from my enemies.
You reach down from on high and took hold of me;
You confronted me in the day of my disaster.
You are my helper, my support and my only true help in times of need.
You keep the light of my heart burning; you turn my darkness into light.
You are the God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
You make my feet like the feet of a deer; you enable me to stand on the heights.
You train my hands for battle and give me your shield of victory.
Your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turn.
You delivered me from the attacks of the people.
You have made me the head of nations.
You are my shepherd and I shall never be want.
You restore my soul and guide me in paths of righteousness.
Even though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil.
For you are forever by my side; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Goodness and love will always follow me all the days of my life.
Only to you do I lift up my soul; only in you do I trust O Lord.
Show me your ways and teach me your paths; Guide me in truth.
The truth of your love, the truth of your grace, the truth in your word.
All your ways are loving and faithful so my eyes are forever on you my God.
Your face is all I seek; Do not hide your face from me; Have mercy on me.
You have been my only helper and my refuge; only in you do I trust.
I wait for you Lord; I take heart and I stay strong; Oh Lord I wait for you.
I am confident that I will see your goodness in the land of the living.
You turned my wailing into dancing, removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.
O Lord, I will forever praise your name and give you thanks forever.

Everyday Humor With Some Seriousness

I was watching a movie today and there was an advertisement for a funeral home. It went something like this:

“St Michael’s Funeral Home – a home that makes you look good even when you’re dead. We guarantee our work to the extent that if you don’t look good when you’re dead, the next funeral will be free!”

I laughed when I heard it but there is some seriousness to the joke. No-one in reality has any control on how they will be buried, cares how they will look or bothered by getting a freebie if the guarantee is not met simply because when the physical life ends, it ends. Once we draw our last breath, our stay in this realm is over. For those who have accepted Jesus Christ before departure, there is an after life; for those that didn’t, it’s pretty much over. To believers, even though physical death is being absent from the body, we will be present with the Lord in heaven. But does this mean that all our focus in life should be getting to heaven when God told us to cause the Kingdom of God to come down here on earth? Aren’t there things – heavenly things we are supposed to be occupied with here on earth while we wait? Should we live our lives in reckless abandon because we have accepted Christ and we are certain of being heaven bound?

Even though we know where we are going, what we are doing here matters a great deal. There will never be a second chance to make your presence count for something. There is no trial run of life; this is the real deal! So this being the case, what are you doing today to prepare a legacy that can be left behind for the next generation? What are you doing outside of yourself to make life easier and better for somebody else? Are you focused only on your needs and what you want? Or are you concerned about others and their lives?

Make a commitment today to start living for the kingdom of God right here on earth. Do something for someone else that does not give you any payback. Be there for someone who needs you. Be an inspiration; be a mentor. Help someone find their way today on earth so that they can have a good quality of life while they are still in this realm.

Teaching Our Children about Disappointment and Discouragement

We will all get disappointment from time to time. Things will not sometimes go the way we expect and humans will be always be what they are - mere humans. Often we put expectations on people who are not worthy of our expectations. People who have proved themselves over and over again to be flaky and reliably unreliable. People who have attended a different school of thought than most. But why do we do that? Why do we place expectations on folks who don’t stand a chance of being able to deliver? Maybe because we are hoping someday an alarm bell will go off in their heads to point out what’s important and what their main priorities should be. Maybe we believe for a fact that they know what is right but will simply not do it due to the hypocritical lifestyle they have become accustomed to. They belong to the “Image is more important than Reality” club. But whatever the reason for our disappointments, being discouraged is not an inevitable side effect, it’s a choice.

Being reliable is not an attribute that is taught, it has to be caught. You must have role models in your life that show you what it is to be dependable at all times. If you didn’t have one growing up, it’s never too late to find one. God is the greatest role model of all time. I’ve always heard that the greatest role model for a child is the same sex parent. Even though a boy needs both a mother and a father, the role of a father in a boy’s life can never be played by a mother. When a mother steps into that role, we have boys that look like they have grown to be men but are not really men in the sense of the word. A smart mother will find another strong male in the family line that is willing to step up and fill that gap before it is too late. The same applies to girls. A young girl needs a female figure to show her how to live a strong productive feminine life. A man cannot teach his daughter these values; only a mother can. So if a man loses his wife or a woman loses her husband for whatever reason, replacement, solid role models must be found and quickly!

For some the train has kind of left the station – meaning it seems it is rather too late in the game. We need to be sympathetic to their plight. They just don’t get it and when the opportunity comes to hear the word of God that can change their lives, they are numb to it. Maybe all they were ever surrounded by as a child were adults that did not understand that their actions were being watched and studied, then the dysfunction is unconsciously propagated. As parents whether we like it or not, the lifestyle we chose is a vital ingredient in determining whether our children will be victims of constant discouragement or not. If they see us handle adversity in a strong and dependable manner, they catch that. If they see us wiggle out of our responsibilities and pick different options year after year like a kid in a candy store, they catch that too.

We need to teach our children that having the right expectations of the world and others can minimize the amount of disappointments they will suffer. We need to teach them that people can only go as far as they know. No-one can give what they don’t have. And when things don’t work as expected or other people drop the bowl, they need to look up and not around. At times like this, they need to dig their heels in and focus more than ever on the goals ahead of them. They must understand that it’s ok to be disappointed but it’s not ok to be discouraged.

The Highway of Discouragement is a very easy road to get on but a difficult one to get off. It’s a very long road with very few exits – once you get on it, you are definitely in for a long ride. Avoid this unfruitful highway the best you can, it will do you, your children and children’s children a world of good. I know people who got on this road and till today they can’t seem to get off and so they are riding; doing the same dysfunctional and unfruitful things over and over again. Movement is constantly occurring but neither change nor progress is happening. Protect your children; teach your children. Whether you speak or not, they are learning by watching you!

Relax, It's Just Noise!

Be alert and on guard. The enemy comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. But it has one mission and one mission alone – to rattle your cage and make you lose focus. The spirit of discernment is very important. It is the only way to recognize the attack of the enemy for what it is and to avoid wasting any valuable time on its works and antics. The only thing to do is fight.

I have had to deal with some minor challenges in the last few days. Nothing overwhelming; just terribly and utterly irritating. It takes a special effort to ensure that the fast paced life I live filled with raising two children, trying to manage a career and a home does not stifle the quality time that I so desperately need with God. Amongst that the devil shows up in a few situations attempting to derail me from my course. Even when you leave abusive people and abusive situations, they have a way of following you around, trying to get their fix.

But God has imprinted on my heart what my purpose is on this earth. The vision for my life is clear and definitely more important than any attack of the enemy. No-one can stop what my life is about. In reality the enemy of my soul is no match for my God. I must stay strong to fight the good fight of faith – nothing; absolutely nothing will stop me from achieving my dreams; reaching my heights just the way that God planned.

We all need to see obstacles for what they are regardless of whether they come in the form of people or circumstances. They are just distractions – noise! I am a work of perfection in progress and I know for sure that God is not through with me yet. Just as no-one can’t stop the tide rising high; no-one can stop the light in my eye. I have learnt that contentment, joy and satisfaction do not necessarily come from a trouble free life. I don’t expect a life without trials or attacks but the attacks had better expect a fight! Adversity makes some people tougher, stronger and impossible to break.

Philippians 4:11 tells us to be content whatever the circumstances we find ourselves in. Isaiah 40:29 says that God gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Verse 31 of the same chapter says that those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Psalm 37: 9 says evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

Regardless of what you are going through or who is trying to jerk your chain right now, rest in the comfort and peace of God. He didn’t bring you this far to leave you now. People are going to try to mess with you because they don’t appreciate what God is doing in your life but unfortunately for them but fortunately for us, whatever God says it, IT IS!

Fighting The Right Fight The Right Way

There is a right way and wrong way to fight. There is also a right fight and a wrong fight to get involved with – basically some fights are neither worth the dedication nor effort. Imagine if someone told you today they were angry at the wind and didn’t particularly like the direction in which it was blowing on a certain day. So they go aside waving their fists in the air attempting to fight the wind. Or another who says they don’t like the degree at which the sun is shinning and they would like to smack the sun in order for it to turn down the heat a notch or two. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?

Similarly in life, it’s terribly important to not only pick our battles but also if and when we do decide to fight, we are equipped to fight in a right and effective manner. To fulfill God’s plan for our lives, obstacles and trials will come our way. How we deal with them will ultimately determine whether our dreams will be realized or whether we will simply give them up in frustration. But not all the fights that show up are good fights. Some are time wasters and must be recognized swiftly for what they are. So how do you tell a worthwhile fight from a pointless one? If the fight is in anyway an obstacle to you reaching your heights by all means roll up your sleeves to take action. However if the fight is just a distraction that does not add to or take away from your dreams, walk away. Don’t invest the energy that may otherwise be used for more productive ventures.

In dealing with a worthwhile fight, you can either choose to fight hysterically or effectively. When you are hysterical, you find yourself yelling, screaming and saying a lot but nothing of value – generally freaking out! This strategy often has no lasting value. The person or issue you are fighting against could almost be laughing at the reaction they are invoking from you. Fighting like a maniac on issues you can’t control can be a total waste of time and if you’re dealing with folks that are two french fries short of a Happy Meal, there’s virtually no hope of success. After losing a lot of energy, you will eventually realize that it doesn’t really matter how loud you yell or how much you say, these kind of folks will never see it the way you do – in fact the way the entire planet sees it so trying to reason with them is like money lost at a race track.

Result driven fights require a high level of calmness, internal reasoning and less talking. The focus should be on being proactive rather than reactive. If you adequately prepared, you can see a lot of issues, months – even years before they show up and you are prepared in advance to handle the situation. In your life, you begin to understand and recognize the folks that may be potential road blockers and distractions and plan for what you would do should they show themselves to be exactly what you thought they’d be.

Never worry if your opponents appear bigger or stronger than you are. It’s not outward strength that matters but the strength on the inside. The kind that comes only from an exercised spirit. The kind of strength that only comes from God. How was David able to finish Goliath? Goliath was much bigger and stronger. Looking at appearances, no-one expected David to win. Fighting any worthwhile fight effectively requires a high level of faith especially when it looks like you were never going to win. And remember that when you do win, God won against the enemy – It’s a victory for God not for you.

The Fruitless Pursuit of Happiness

When all you really believe is all you can physically see, the power of God is foreign to you. To appreciate, embrace and understand the supernatural power of god requires seeing with more than your natural eyes. Many go through life fumbling around, in search of something outside of themselves that they will never find. Everything you really need for godly living has been placed in the single place you can never miss it – inside of you.

Searching for happiness is a senseless journey and a journey for pagans. Pleasure yes you would find but no intelligent being will confuse pleasure with happiness. I’ve lived long enough to know the difference. You have within you all you need to attain the joy you so desperately seek by looking for a new spouse, a new job and a new home. All these “new” things will never really bring true happiness. You didn’t have it before you acquired these things; you wouldn’t have it when you get them. Your chronic unhappiness has nothing to do with what’s around you but more to do with your attitude to life.

The pursuit of happiness is a fruitless pursuit. Many have turned their lives into experimental laboratories whilst seeking this elusive feeling. They have tried 10 employers in 5 years; 2 wives in the last two decades and still nothing. Searching for happiness externally is like traveling through a bottomless pit; you just keep going and going. It is like a mirage of water on a dry day as soon as you get close, it varnishes. You look down the road and there lies another promise.

The reality is nothing external will make you happy. When you realize that you’re not God and that there’s more to life than satisfying your fleshy cravings, you would soon realize the truth in this message. Once you realize that true joy only comes from God and that only He and He alone has the power to change your circumstances not the things around you, you can begin to experience the happiness you are desperately seeking.

Embarking on a pursuit of happiness for yourself simply means that happiness will always elude you. Happiness is a by-product of giving yourself for others. It comes as a dividend of a self-sacrificial life – giving yourself for your spouse, your children or your elderly parents, a needy neighbor or a sibling.

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” - Matthew 16:24-25

The Great Counsel of God

It’s extremely important to constantly feed on the word of God so that we can grow and our spiritual lives can be improved. The truth is there is so information out there today. There is so much to study; so much to learn. I have found that wisdom is indeed power. You can never be more than you know. If you want to be better, your knowledge needs to be expanded.

The longer we’ve been Christians, the more our spiritual knowledge should increase. When we have been spending time with God, it shows in what we say and choose not to say. Regular Sunday church attendance alone won’t do. It's important that God is a part of our daily life.

By learning wisdom from God, we can better decide what to do with our time after all the measurement of effectiveness is time. When we take time to examine the word of God closely and at the same time look back on our experiences through life’s journey, we can better see what we have learned or what we should have learned. Wisdom should always be gleaned by from all our experience. God’s word allows us to make better decisions. We can better make choices that line up in his will for our lives. Even when we lose our way (as we all sometimes do), he is there to get us right back on track.

I have personally found the Book of Proverbs to be filled with great words of wisdom. This book eradicates the excuse to be ignorant and over-simplistic about life. Being a “simple” person serves little use in dealing with life’s complex situations. A great deal of biblical wisdom and discipline can be gotten from this great book of the Bible. The whole book will change your life. Read a chapter a day for 31 days. Here are some verses that I found to be filled with wisdom:

Proverbs 1:23-27 Proverbs 15:1-4 Proverbs 29:1
Proverbs 2:1-6 Proverbs 16:4 Proverbs 30:5
Proverbs 3:1-4 Proverbs 17:20 Proverbs 31:30-31
Proverbs 4:10-13 Proverbs 18:21
Proverbs 5:15-20 Proverbs 19:19
Proverbs 6:6-11 Proverbs 20:1
Proverbs 7:1-5 Proverbs 21:23
Proverbs 8:4-8 Proverbs 22:4
Proverbs 9:7-12 Proverbs 23:9
Proverbs 10:19 Proverbs 24:10
Proverbs 11:2 Proverbs 25:21
Proverbs 12:1 Proverbs 26:12
Proverbs 13:20 Proverbs 27:20
Proverbs 14: 12 Proverbs 28:13

Forgiving and/or Forgetting?

Today I share with you one of my biggest challenges. For those of you that know me personally, the last four years have been extremely challenging for me. Life has had the opportunity to teach me some very valuable lessons – many of which I strongly believe I would have never learned if the circumstances that took place didn’t occur. Lessons although very painful; I so desperately needed to learn. Forgiving and forgetting is not as easy as we think sometimes. Even when you say that you forgive, new situations arise to show you that you may have forgiven but you never really forgot to begin with. True forgives is essentially two-fold – forgiving others and then forgiving yourself. Forgetting is not about suddenly developing Alzheimer’s – It’s about remembering without pain and without anger. Some say you cannot truly forgive if you don’t forget. I don’t agree – unless you get a brain transplant, the chances of forgetting are pretty slim. It’s not remembering that’s the issue, it’s how you remember.

If you remember with pain and you are trying to get even, it is important to know that no matter how well calculated your plan for revenge is it will never eradicate the past hurt and disappointments. Trying to even the score is not really necessary as God has a way of showing us all that He is indeed God. That is enough; nothing can be added to that and nothing can be taken away from it. God’s ways are complete and enough. Whatever wrong or mistreatment that you believe that you have suffered can never be changed or undone. It’s become an integral part of your story; your life’s journey. And if truth be told, deep down you wouldn’t change any of it. It’s made you stronger and better.

Anger can be a very constructive as well as destructive emotion. It can serve a great deal of harm but it can also do some good. The Bible tells us never to let the sun go down on our anger which means we can get angry but resolving it swiftly brings healing to the soul. Scriptures also tells us that we can be angry but it is important to avoid sin in the process. Avoiding sin when angry is a tough call! Jesus was able to do it but I’m not so sure that I can. Anger, when used constructively can be a motivating factor to be the best you can be. When people tell you that you’ll never make it, the anger propels you to prove God right and prove them wrong.

Holding on negatively to situations of the past can give painful memories a strong hold over your life. Unconsciously, the wrong-doings control you and holding on to the past like a crutch just makes the pain worse. It’s like having a wound and continuously picking at it such that the wound never really gets a chance to heal. I found out that even though I could forgive, I couldn’t forget. I soon realized that my not forgetting is more an advantage than a disadvantage. By not getting amnesia or living in denial, I have a chance to reflect on past mistakes so that they do not in any shape or form repeat themselves. They say a foolish man/woman is one who keeps doing the same things, making the same decisions but expecting a different set of results. I have learnt from my errors and refuse to repeat them. I have grown from them. My life is different because of them.

Life is a wonderful teacher and it has taught me that forgiving allows me the wonderful opportunity for a more fulfilling and joyous life. Not forgetting stops me from traveling the same hazardous road twice. The supernatural love of God has shown me that by his forgiving my mistakes completely, it is required that I forgive the mistakes that others have made against me. I am not there yet but I’m definitely on my way.

What is the challenge you struggle with? Is it forgiving and forgetting yourself and others? Or is your challenge surrounding denial? Share with me what your toughest issue is. It helps to know that on this life’s journey, one is not alone.

Additional Reading:

Matthew 18:15-17
Luke 23: 34
Luke 15:1-7

Quitters Never Win

Why do some people have the ability to commit to things, people and the vision for a productive life and others just can't? The famous saying “Winners never quit and Quitters never win” by Vince Lombardi may give a bird’s eye view into the answer. The saying tells me eloquently that are two groups in this world – those who win and those who quit. I have come to believe that persistence is a gift and not everyone has it. The ability to grit one’s teeth and stay the course is a luxury that everyone should afford. The option to give up and move on to the next thing is common place today.

The grass always seems to be greener on the other side only to get there and realize that things aren’t really what they seem. People who readily quit and move on are generally easy going – the “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of folks. They really don’t owe anyone anything (at least that’s what they believe!) and have no real reason to see anything through. They will quit because something happened that they don’t like only to realize that at every job something will happen that you won’t like. They keep pitching tents in different places – even different continents; going from place to place while obviously groping in the dark. Jake is one of those people.

I met Jake around a decade ago and by all indications he is a “nice” guy. Everyone thinks he is kind-hearted and helpful. He will take in anyone who needs help in a heartbeat and he attends church regularly enough. He appears relatively honest, works hard and is extremely social. But Jake has some serious strongholds. His image is always more important than his reality. He spends a great deal of energy proving to everyone that he is a stand-up kind of guy but those closest to him know otherwise.

Jake is a natural born quitter. He never commits to anything for long. As soon as the novelty of one experience wears out. He’s off to the next best thing. The longest he’s lasted on any job maybe around 18 months – there’s always something wrong with everything and everybody else. He never takes a look at himself to see that he is the common denominator to all his woes. Jake has in the last 10 years quit many jobs, his marriage and essentially his children. He means no harm but he can’t help himself. Jake has heard all the messages that can change his life but his ears are not open to receive and even when he hears, the Word of God falls on stony ground and does not take root in order to make any lasting change. Jake talks a good talk but his life is clear evidence that his walk is not aligned in the same manner. People like Jake never win; a life on a treadmill, moving quickly but headed nowhere.

The Bible clearly states in the Book of James that a double-minded man is unstable. He is like a wave in the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. A man likes this never stays anywhere long enough to receive anything from the Lord. He is described as being double-minded and unstable in all that he does. The missing issue for quitters is a combination of a lack of faith and a lack of vision. Quitters can only see with their physical eyes – whatever is not visible to their human eyes does not exist in their world. Their spiritual eyes are blind so that their body is in complete darkness. Those that by grace have faith will try and talk to quitters but they will never see things any other way. So quitters are left alone to make one blind decision after another and consequently they keep going round and round in circles.

Jesus is the greatest example of a winner. Even when he would have had enough excuses to quit, he didn’t. I leave you with this quote from Jesus in the Book of Luke:

“No one who puts his hand on the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” – Luke 9:62